


Walking on Air

by Xulfers



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bisexual Joey Tribbiani, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Eventual Romance, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xulfers/pseuds/Xulfers
Summary: Another night at the club for Joey Tribbiani. Nights like these were his special retreat for every time life got him down. This quick fix was a bad habit that he went back to much more than he’d like to admit. Not only was it an escape from his feelings, it was also an escape from worried friends. If they were even truly concerned about him. How was he supposed to know when they were seriously thinking about him, or pretended to be just because they felt forced to? Joey began cutting and separating another line of cocaine, refusing to think more about it.





	1. Another Night

Another night at the club for Joey Tribbiani. It was a bar that only those with connections knew of. Nights like these were his special retreat for every time life got him down. This quick fix was a bad habit that he went back to much more than he’d like to admit, it was comforting. Not only was it an escape from his feelings, it was also an escape from worried friends. If they were even truly concerned about him. How was he supposed to know when they were seriously thinking about him, or pretended to be just because they felt forced to? Joey began cutting and separating another line of cocaine, refusing to think more about it. 

When he was high off coke, he didn’t have to think anymore. More importantly, he wasn’t depressed anymore. He was bursting with energy after a few lines, which was the opposite of how he usually felt. It started off with him doing a single line, and he graduated up to three to be able to get a lift off of it.

Joey was now starting to feel his foot thumping a mile a minute. He liked it because it reminded him of seeing Thumper from Bambi in love when he first saw that female rabbit. It’s been so long since he’s been in love. Sometimes he would bring a woman home after a night of partying, but she would always leave in the morning. It was just senseless fucking without any kind of feelings behind it.

Joey would occasionally go to gay bars when he wanted something different. The men he met there were always so caring. He was too ashamed to bring them home for Chandler to see, so they always had quickies in the restroom.

Talking about Chandler, the relationship between the two was a long story. Joey thought that the other hated him, and it meant much more to be liked by him than anyone else in the world. He got a hint that Chandler was jealous of the fact he brought women home. He knew that his friend had trouble getting someone to sleep with him. Was he just more reserved when it came to sex? That couldn’t be it. Why else would he ask Joey ‘Why, oh why do you have to bring home a woman every week?’

He could feel the shaking spreading across and infecting his whole body now. Was he going to fuck someone tonight? Sex felt so much better when he was high. No, not tonight. What seemed like a good idea now was to walk from Brooklyn to Queens. He was on top of the world, he could make it. It was midnight and he knew all the best cartoons were on at night, and right now he wanted to catch his favorites. Cartoons made him happy. He heard that watching crazy shows like Looney Tunes were more trippy and hilarious on a high.

He began his epic journey to the far away land of Queens, if it’s even that far away. He could get there if he ran, and he was sure of it. Sometimes when he felt on top of the world, he would walk in front of the cars. They couldn’t actually harm him when he was high, he was absolutely sure of it.

After crossing about 10 blocks, turning all sorts of left and right, Joey realized he was lost. He was way past the train station, and he only knew the area from there to the club. He could never be home in time for his favorite cartoons now. The absolute luck he had. Maybe if he snorted another line it could have kicked his brain cells in gear enough that he had developed a map inside his brain.

Time for his backup plan. He dialed up Chandler to come get him as he forgotten he actually had a GPS inside his phone. Useless facts like that were pushed to the back of his mind when he was high. Why would he need them, anyway? So much going on in his brain weighed him down, after all. He wasted no time to dial up his roommate.

“Hey, Chan.”

“Joe, it’s after midnight. Why are you calling me?” He was awoken from what used to be his sound, blissful sleep. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t mind the late call a little, but his concern overpowered that.

“Hey, listen, Chan. I got lost in Brooklyn and need you to come get me.” Joey jogged over to the street corner and told Chandler where he was.

There was a moment of silence from the other side of the call, “What the hell are you doing lost in Brooklyn?” He was so frightened and worried that despite being half-awake, he threw on his coat and was down the flight of stairs to the apartment at mach speed.

Before long, he was on the train to Brooklyn. It felt like forever for him to get to his destination. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Stress, anxiety, ready to have a panic attack. There were all sorts of characters out at this time of night. How was he supposed to know whether or not Joey wasn’t going to get mugged? That he wasn’t going to get murdered? 

He turned on the GPS on his phone and started the search for his roommate. Roommate. They should both be in their apartment now snoozing away, or watching TV for those nights where they both felt like insomniacs, just anything but this.

As soon as Chandler got to where Joey was, he embraced the other in a bone-crushing hug, “My, God. I was so worried, Joe. Thank God you’re safe.” The other was dumbfounded by this interaction between the two and couldn’t help but go limp. Chan was worried about him? Joey Tribbiani of all people. Joey “promiscuous drug addict” Tribbiani? He came back to reality, and hugged the other back. 

In the cold night, Chandler was so warm. Hugging him was always so nice, so comforting. He didn’t want to let go. A part of him wanted the moment to last forever. It felt like for just a short while, he was loved. Loved by Chandler, the man that was the most dear to him in life.

Chandler took the other’s hand and dragged him to the train station. There was something about the street lights so late at night that seemed to accentuate Chandler’s face. He looked absolutely stunning. Not a single person he brought home to sleep with could ever compare to how absolutely good looking Chandler was. None could compare to the hilarious, interesting, and charming personality he possessed. After all, how charming could a drug addict be? The thought echoed in his mind. How charming could a drug addict be? It haunted him. His heart sank thinking that terrible question over and over. He was starting to feel depressed, and he realized the fun was over. He wasn’t high anymore, and real life was his enemy once again.


	2. Hard to Resist

Joey was stiff as a board from Chandler staring sternly his way across their apartment’s breakfast bar. Although calling his roommate seemed like a good idea in the midst of his high, Joey was deeply regretting his actions now. He was in trouble, and that meant Chandler hated him now. What if this is the last straw? He couldn’t stomach the idea of Chandler being disgusted with him and deciding to never talk to him ever again.

“Why were you all the way in Brooklyn so late at night? Don’t think you can bullshit me, Joe, I want the truth.”

“I was sort of at a club, and then I decided to leave… and before I knew it I was lost.” He couldn’t bare to look Chandler in the face. Joey never knew he could feel so terribly sorry as he did in this moment. Why did he make such a dumb mistake?

Chandler paused for a split second, and then chuckled with a hint of nervousness, “I didn’t know you went clubbing. Is this where all these women that you love bringing home come from? I thought maybe you frequented the vending machine that dispenses women instead of snacks.” He smiled wryly, “How, um-” He bit his lip, “How long have you been clubbing?” Chandler’s next question came off more harshly than he planned, “When were you thinking of bringing this up with me?”

“I’ve been going for a few months now,” Joey shrinked back into his seat. He was sort of hoping that if he tried hard enough, he could make himself so small that he would disappear, “I wasn’t planning for you to ever find out, but now you kind of did.” He saw the other starting to frown and quickly came to his own defense, “Do you see why? You always freak out when I do anything fun with my life. Why is my life your problem?”

“Well, I don’t know, Joe. Maybe it has something to do with me being your best friend. Maybe I’m concerned about you.” He scoffed, “Maybe I want to know what’s going on in your life and actually be a part of it?”

“Chan, it’s just not that easy,” He sighed, “I’m just at a very hard part of my life right now. No one wants to hire me, and everyone laughs at me like I’m some kind of joke. Everywhere I turn, I’m rejected by someone.” His words turned bitter, “And I don’t want you to become one of those someone’s when you find out what I’m really like.” He coughed to recompose himself before he got too emotional, “Please, Iet’s drop this. That’s what would help the most right now. I feel like crap enough without having my best friend mad at me.”

Chandler was taken aback as he began to acknowledge he was overstepping himself. Was he really ready to cross Joey’s boundaries? He wouldn’t need to do so if his friend would just lower all the walls he built up between the two. Well, he guessed Joey had less walls between them than he did with the rest of the group. 

Chandler was thinking of how to make the situation to turn around and become something more happier, “I didn’t mean to come across like I’m against you in some way-” Chandler could tell by the way his roommate raised his brow that he wouldn’t believe what the other was saying. Chandler was quick on his feet with a comeback, “Okay, maybe I don’t agree with all of your life choices. But, hey, I’d like to maybe catch a coffee with you.” He paused, “Now, I mean, we go get coffee now. And I’ll treat and let you get whatever snack you want.”

Joey slowly nodded his head in realization, and then nodded faster in happiness. He nearly jumped out of his seat to throw on his coat and scarf, “Well, come on, let’s go.”

Chandler got an urge to tell Joey to be careful so he wouldn’t get lost to the train station again, but he didn’t want to possibly upset the other with his dry sense of humor. Chandler decided it was best that he kept the joke to himself. He did chuckle, however, and that made Joey happy enough that he smiled ear to ear. Maybe Joe thought his excitement seemed cute to Chandler, or the other was so happy to have time with him that he laughed out of happiness. Whichever it was, it made both of them feel warm to be in the presence of each other.

“On second thought, how about I go get my phone out of my bedroom before we go? I’ll meet you downstairs.” Chan shrugged his shoulders and left out the door. Joey knew he was in the clear once he heard the other’s footsteps descending down the stairs. He went into his room and slipped his phone into his pocket. Next to his cell was his bottle of Adderall, and he held the container to look at it for a good second. Did he really want to do something like this on his time out with Chandler? Who needed to ask, coffee mixed with adderall was the best.

Joey picked out one of the credit cards from his wallet. Now, all he needed was a mirror. He looked around and took down the one on his door. He would always spiff himself up in this one when Chandler was using the bathroom mirror. Chandler… shit. He had to make it fast so that the other wouldn’t question anything. Joey did his best to chop the tablet into a fine powder. The more times he chopped, the more faster and finer he was at breaking the Adderall down. Joey knew he couldn’t snort it with Chandler waiting downstairs for him, so he did his best to slide it into a small bag he once got goodies in, and stuffed that in his pocket.

Joey ran down the stairs and almost fell into Chandler when he got out the front door, “Sorry that I took a while.”

“Yeah, I know how you are with misplacing stuff. It’s cool, man.” He patted the other on the back, “Let’s get going to the train.” 

Joey was tense the whole walk over. He thought of how risky it was to get high when hanging with Chandler, but he couldn’t resist himself. The more he used, the more he wanted to be on a high again. Again, and again, until he wanted to be that way constantly. If he was always using stimulants, he would never have to deal with life. Then, he wouldn’t feel like Chandler was taking him out just so he could make himself feel better, as if he’s some kind of charity’s poster child. Donation to poor old actor Joey, who was broke because no one wanted to hire him. His lifelong dream of being a star never acknowledged, and Chandler never loving him the way that Joey loved him.


	3. So Perfect

The train ride to the cafe felt much more tediously long to Joey and Chandler than it should have, but what mattered is that it was finally over. For Joey, it was a pain because he couldn’t wait to finally snort his little baggie of Adderall, or possibly stir it into his drink. For Chandler, it was a pain because he couldn’t wait any longer to finally sit down in a comfortable chair and have a private talk with the other man.

As both approached the door to the coffee shop, they became separated from each other’s side so that Chandler could skip ahead to open the door for Joey to step through. At first, Joey’s heart sank when Chandler ran ahead to get the door. After all, it felt like he was being left behind. However, once he saw that it was an act of courtesy, Joey’s heart skipped a beat.

“Th-thanks, Chan,” Joey stuttered out as his cheeks turned a hint of pink, “That was very kind of you.”

“Well, you know me,” He followed Joey in and sat at the other’s table of choice, “Cheesy, cute, and quirky. I know how to make someone feel special.” He took one of the menus neatly placed on one side of the table.

“You wanted to make me feel special?” Joey’s heart stopped altogether at hearing what Chandler had just said to him. 

Chandler hesitated and smiled painfully, “Awkward and embarrassing, the other two of my five personality characteristics,” He slapped the menu back onto the table, “I’m going to go to the bathroom now, and when I get back I’ll have something else endearing and awfully adorable to say.” He rolled his eyes, and mentally cursed himself. 

As Chandler walked away, Joey was tempted to grab him and say ‘Don’t go, please, I want to hear what you have to say’, but as Chandler walked away, a barista walked closer towards him. Or was he just a waiter? Joey wasn’t too familiar and sophisticated in the coffee business.

“Hey, before you say anything: I want the strongest thing you have, and the largest size that it comes in. Thanks.” Joey gave his menu to the guy before realizing that Chandler needed something. He pursed his lips, what would Chandler want? He wanted to get the whole ordeal over with quick, “Hey, my buddy’s in the bathroom so once he’s out he’ll order what he wants.”

The young man serving Joey dumbfoundedly walked away. Now, it was time to get down to business. Joey dug the baggie of Adderall out of his pocket and put it on the table. He swore he has been looking at the little blue bag forever, but it’s probably been ten seconds. He’s got to wait until his cup of coffee came to stir it in and drink it down. Wait, wait.. Who has time for waiting? He opened up the baggie and pour it straight into his mouth. It was.. absolutely disgusting. He couldn’t help dipping his tongue into the tiny bag to get the rest of it in him.

Joey knew he looked completely insane. Was he another actor who lost himself to drugs? He couldn’t deny that he was a full blown addict. He was a little on edge doing something like that in public, or maybe it was the Adderall starting to kick in, who knew. He looked around and the cafe was empty. Actually, there was barely anyone in the coffee house. Well, besides that server. Oh, yeah, the server. With his drink.

Meanwhile, Chandler was laughing nervously to himself in the restroom, “Okay, Chan, so you’re on a date with a cute guy - who, by the way, is your best friend - and… God, I can’t face him. He’s so perfect and he’s probably caught the hint that I like him.” He washed his hands for what was probably the fourth time since he went into the small, tiled room, “However, this is Joey,” He sighed and shook his head, “Joey’s not a fucking idiot, he knows. The only thing that could keep him from thinking I like him would be if his self-esteem was as low as mine and come on, we’ve all seen him. Someone that beautiful couldn’t have a poor self-image.” Chandler towel dried his hands, “Ok, we’re ready. We’re walking, and walking, out the door, and h-e-ey, Joe. How-” He winked at the other, “-you doing?” This was probably the worst thing he could say, but Chandler knew he had to roll with it.

Joey sipped his coffee and shakily put down the ceramic cup, “I’m good, I’m good. Just chatting, talking, actually,” He nodded to his server, “He’s a real, swell guy. You should talk to him, you should tell him what you want.” He picked up the coffee once again for a long sip, and put it back down with haste, “How have you been? You were in there for awhile.”

“Um, ha-” Chandler shot Joey a finger gun, he was a ‘cool guy’ today, “I was in there, and suddenly I lost my contacts. I was on the floor like Velma from Scooby Doo when she loses her glasses right when the monster is in the middle of chasing the gang. It was very hard to see them, but they couldn’t escape me.” He turned to the barista and laughed, “You see, it’s funny because I don’t wear contacts, nor am I a part of the Mystery Gang,” His laughter died down and his tone became serious, “I’ll take whatever he’s having.”

As the server left, Chandler sat down next to Joey and moved his hands back and forth in confusion, as if to reel in the information of what’s been happening. Joey nodded and replied, “Since you left, I kept thinking about you: Where’s Chandler? What’s he doing? What’s this about wanting me to feel special?” Joey rolled his eyes playfully. Rolled to the ceiling, to the floor, and finally, rolled them back in Chandler’s direction, “I think something magical is happening here this morning.” He nodded to himself, and chuckled. He couldn’t stop shaking with how hard he was laughing to himself. He was truly happy at this moment. After all, there were no worries here to think about.

“Joey, I-” Chandler felt himself quickly descending into an embarrassed mess, “I don’t know what to say.” Maybe Chandler should question why Joey was acting so weirdly. Although, he’s only been with a handful of other people who he’s really connected in a meaningful way with before, and all of those times he thought they were acting strangely. He guessed anyone was strange for liking him back.. if that was the case.

“Come on, Chandler. I want to show you the wonders of the world. I absolutely insist.” Joey’s grip on his coffee got tighter and he kept teetering it on the table before sipping it once again, “Let us finish our coffees first, then we’ll do something really fun, I promise you.”

“I would really like that, Joe.” He smiled softly at the other. There was a nagging at the back of his mind that something was wrong, but why would he ever want to ruin the moment he’s been waiting for? His love hopefully finally requited, with the person he adored. Sure, it was Joey, and people knew that man was a bit messy, but Joey was the most comfortable with himself that he’s ever seen in another person. So much confidence, so much happiness, and so irreplaceable.


End file.
